Anxiety Vs. Excitement

Part I: THE ANXIETY

A few mornings ago, I woke up early in a bit of a panic. What had I done? Why had I made all these arrangements for Maximo to go to Japanese daycare rather than the perfectly good early childhood class/daycare at the school where we are working at? What was I thinking? Maximo has been out of his own home and bed for five weeks. He has been doing remarkably well, but has had some moments where I know it's been too much. And now we're going to just leave him in a strange environment where no one speaks his language!

His English is BOOMING right now. I'm sure it's just the age and, of course, being in a total English environment, but we're loving the "airplanes, ah-pitas (helicopters), see yas, bye-ye, g'ornings, boats..." And as I lay there in bed, my heart racing a bit, I got a little sad that we wouldn't all be going to the same place every morning, that I wouldn't be walking over to his classroom at the end of the day to his smiling face and he wouldn't be serenading us at the dinner table singing little ditties like "Twinkle, twinkle" or his "ABCs" and rapidly increasing his English and language skills.

We're going to be putting him in a Japanese daycare. One in which I'll need a translator with me when I bring him in to introduce him on Tuesday. When we leave him on Wednesday for a trial morning, he will hopefully have shaken off most of his jetlag, but how will they know he needs his mono or he's spiraling out of control and needs to go to bed even though he looks like he's hyperly happily running around? They will. I know they will. They are professionals. There are other American kids at the daycare who thrive there. I've spoken to two different teachers at school, and American and a Japanese mom, and they both rave about the care.

I think (thought) that this would be the best thing for him. I hope it is. If we stay in Japan for 4-6 years (which is the plan), it would be a shame if we left and he had no Japanese to show for it, all because of my insecurities. I know kids are resilient. I'm sure he'll do great. I know we'll have a few rough days, especially recovering from the jet lag and having to report to "new teacher days" two days after we arrive. Again, I'll continue to use this blog as a form of therapy, as long as there are enough hours in the day to whine, gloat or worry after work and starting our new home in Japan.

Oh, and the 24-hour travel day. I don't need to go into details. I told Max that I'd give him $50 if he was excellent during our travels. And I will... it'll go straight into his bank account. I'm not above bribing my kid for a peaceful and uneventful travel day.

PART II: THE EXCITEMENT

Really? We're going to be in our new apartment IN JAPAN in 4 days. We already know what our apartment looks like, but I cannot wait to sit (possibly on the floor) and enjoy our first cup of coffee in our new place. We can't wait to explore and meander around our new neighborhood and go to the grocery store to fill our frig and cupboards. We can't wait to be reunited with our bestest friends and watch our kids play together. I can't wait to take it all in like a little kid. To bathe my senses in the sights, sounds and smells of a place on the other side of the world, which is seemingly familiar, but foreign and exotic and such a juxtaposition of Peru.

We're excited to be in our own place. It's been a wonderful summer shared with family and friends in our hometowns, BUT, it's challenging to not have our own place. Soon we'll be back to walking around in the nude! (Not really, but we could if we wanted too!)

The excitement is definitely outweighing the anxiety; Thursday night will most likely be a sleepless one!