Mixed Emotions

Well, I've been a mix of emotions the past two days.
First, GLAD, that I didn't feel the earthquake because they pump me full of adrenaline, and not in a good way.

Second, SURPRISED, that I didn't feel the earthquake, because I usually am super sensitive to them.

Third, HORRIFIED by the images on the news reels of the earthquake and the subsequent tsunami.

Next, WORRIED that our family and friends would wake up and see these images and worry about us. (Which you all did, but I think now you know we're okay!)

Then, GIDDY, when Lola laughed for the first time today.

Next, ANXIOUS about the nuclear power plant and the troubles they are having.

Then, STRANGE because life in Kobe is fairly normal. Maybe a bit more subdued and a little somber, but normal - everything is open and people are going about their business.

Later, HAPPY to be able to celebrate John's 40th birthday with dear friends, but GUILTY because I didn't whoop it up, but I'm pretty close to tone deaf and unless there is a lot of alcohol involved, you won't see me with a microphone. And the thought of getting up three times after going home really can put a damper on going out. And also happy that Rod and Debbie came over to watch the kids for us. We were able to go out and not worry for a second about the babes with two pros like them! (Thank you!)

And now I continue to undulate between anxiety and calmness, depending on who I'm talking to or what article I'm reading on the web. I know we are VERY lucky, but the idea of radiation exposure is a bit frightening. I look at our beautiful little babes and all I want to do is whisk them off to a safe island where I can snuggle with them for the rest of their lives, but I know that is a bit nutty and unrealistic.

Today was the first gorgeous Spring day we've had - beautiful blue skies in the mid 50s. We got out as a family, but it's hard to really enjoy it with all these emotions and thoughts running through my head and thinking about people who are closer to the epicenter who have lost or are looking for family. I continue to think about our friends and former students who are living in Tokyo who are WAY closer to the nuclear power plants than we are.

So, we'll continue to watch the news. I'll try not to stress too much and I hope the get the nuclear plants under control so the relief efforts, restoration and rebuilding in the northeast can get underway safely.

My silver lining today:

I thought I got a great video of her laughing...
but there's no sound, oops!


Max watering the lemon tree
(and check out our plum blossom in the back)